Thursday, May 20, 2010

Our Big Spiritual Adventure

So for any of you who don't know we finally had our newest son and it ended up being quite an adventure. We were attempting a water birth at home and to top it off it was going to be a VBAC (google it). It was risky, but Jen and I had done extensive praying and fasting to know this was the right decision for us. So on the Tuesday night before he was born Jen's water broke. We were very worried about this because the last two times it happened meant Jen had a C-section, but we proceeded with faith. I (Chris) had a song constantly going through my head once I had administered to Jen:

Be Still My Soul
The Lord is on Thy Side
With Patience bear thy cross of grief and pain
Leave to your God to Order and Provide
In ev'ry change he faithful will remain
Be still my soul: Thy best, thy Heavnly friend
Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end

This was kind of unusual because I didn't really know the words to the song because I had only sung it a few times, but I recognized the tune and the first few words, but it just kept replaying in my mind. I also had a vision from the church video Zion's camp where the members of Zion's Camp just heard that the Missouri mob was going to cross the river soon and slaughter the whole group. All of people in Zion's Camp were ready to fight, but then the prophet turns around and sees clouds suddenly gathering on the horizon and he declares something like, "Be still and see the hand of the Lord." For those of you who know a huge storm suddenly appears causing the river to flood and protecting the members of Zion's Camp from the oncoming mob. So I had this last part going through my head which made me feel two things: be patient (they only saw the storm at the last moment) and we would "see the hand of the Lord" in all of this.

So after the blessing we contacted the midwife to inform her what might be happening. When Cathy arrived she told us she had suddenly woke up that night (about 1 am) thinking about Jen and had been praying about her when we called her. She had also been reading in the scriptures and shared with us the impression she had about the birth. To summarize she felt like this birth would be different than our experiences before. It was neat to share spiritual experiences with someone of a different religion and we could feel the Spirit when she told us her impression.

Jen was having mild contractions, but they were not regular or strong yet. We continued to try and encourage them and be prayerful about what we were doing. It was a good time for Jen and I to feel close and also feel the Spirit strongly. I shared my impressions and Jen had the same feelings that I did. The midwife came over twice but the contractions were not going anywhere and we were starting to cross into the window where infection was a possibility (we had to be especially careful because it was a VBAC).

Our midwife Cathy and her assistant Connie were so patient with us through the whole thing (if someone needs a midwife in the area just let us know - we would definitely recommend her) and it just emphasized we had picked the right midwife and we were doing the right thing. She tried many things like acupressure, herbs, and other techniques to try and encourage labor to really get going. We finally decided that we needed to go to LBJ hospital for some Petocin (for those of you that don't know they can use Petocin to induce labor and Jen felt she just needed a little something to help - LBJ was the only hospital in the area that would attempt induction on a VBAC in the region). Cathy and Connie inspected Jen one last time to make sure more hadn't happened than we thought. After being checked the contractions suddenly picked up on the way but not enough to be concerned about (no increase in intensity) and we got in the van to head to the hospital. We had tried everything we could to do things when on the way to hospital Jen's contractions suddenly started regularly and building in intensity (see the Zion's Camp feeling above). We called the midwife because we were only midway and we preferred the home birth and we all decided to head back home. We got home and did some walking and as we did the contractions continued and picked up some more. Once they seemed to get frequent and strong enough we called back the midwife.

Jen labored for several more hours but Jen's contractions had one last problem: they weren't getting long enough even though they were very intense. She had only dilated half way and she was still thick but she had an strong urge to push. Because of the everything internally she couldn't push because her body wasn't ready to have the baby. Cathy checked her several times and began to get concerned that there was something wrong. We decided to head back to LBJ and our great midwifes drove us all the way there and talked to the doctor to let her know what was going on. Jen was admitted and the head doctor approved trying the Petocin (she had dilated to 7 on the trip to the hospital). It worked and soon afterward Jen was able to deliver Charlie into this world.

Charlie had a small grunt (a small breathing abnormality where they take a shark intake of breath that sounds like a grunt) but was completely healthy besides that. Everything appeared to be great with Jen (she had only torn some) and I began to let everyone know. That is where the last part of our adventure began. We had already had a very spiritual experience up to this point and it seemed like we had been able to accomplish our dream, but for me it was on this last part that we truly saw the "hand of the Lord." I won't reveal exactly what happened but Jen more than likely would have died if we were not at the hospital. Once Jen feels better she will fill in people on exactly what happened.

Thankfully Jen and Charlie have returned home and are now on the mend. The recovery will be long (at least for Jen), but we have been constantly supported through this by our family, friends, neighbors, and fellow church members. I cannot say enough about the people who have helped us. They are truly great!

I wanted to share some of the things I learned/reaffirmed through this experience:
1) Trust the feelings you have from the Spirit - they will never lead you astray. If you have a strong feeling about something just trust because you will see it fulfilled
2) The Lord fulfills all his promises but not always the way you expected, but they are always the path that will lead you to grow the most ("Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end")
3) The Power of Priesthood is a wondrous thing! I am so glad that we have it in our house.
4) PRAYER IS AWESOME! Through the latter part of our experience I can honestly say I felt like it was the prayers of other people that upheld me when I thought I could not go on.
5) Ask for help - the Lord provides people to help you when you need it. Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it (Jen and I don't like to ask for help).
6) Hymns have an awesome calming power in even the most difficult of situations. The hymn above had a great calming effect for us during the labor
7) Fasting works!
8) It is by suffering that we can sometimes grow closer to the Lord than at any other time in our life. When we learn to depend entirely on the Lord we find his reassuring arm there to uphold and strengthen us (second time in the last few years that I have had this feeling)
9) We can't do it alone - we honestly and completely need our Heavenly Father
10) The Relief Society is a great thing, especially when the Relief Society is not just made up of other church members but also great friends.
11) Kids are amazing sensitive to the Spirit

Monday, May 3, 2010

Bad habits

My stomach is upset feeling. I can't sleep and Will and I are enjoying a little time together. Its amazing how little sleep I can get and still feel ok, but I don't think it will last. I figured I'll use these middle of the night times to journal, so here I got again:

It's nearly 3 AM, William woke us up with a dirty diaper. He has a problem that I have never heard of. Joe taught him two bad habits: to suck his thumb and put his hand down his pants. The thumb sucking is nothing compared to the other. Joe never had any adverse reaction putting his hand down his pants, he was already potty trained when he started doing it. Well with William watching Joe he started doing this earlier and now he has rubbed his private so much that there is a little spot on his penis that is starting to bleed. We have been putting his in onesies as much as possible to try and curb the problem, but tonight he woke up at 2:30 AM poopy and bleeding. He has been complaining about his diaper a lot and that has been why. I wish he knew enough to stop touching and rubbing it so much, but he is only 2 years old. I never thought I would experience a problem like this, and I really know of no other solution than onesies, but they stop making them after the 2 year size, I sure hope he stops doing this. When he first started it was more of a nuisance because he would put his hand down his pants and then his penis would be sticking out over his disposable diaper. Doing this he would often rip a fresh diaper, or pee over the diaper. I got so frustrated that I thought changing to cloth diapers was the answer, so I went out and got cloth diapers. They have helped because he can't get them off and they have more up front so he can't pee over like the disposables. But he was still putting his hand down there. So I put his in onesies as much as possible, but even with certain onesies he still find a way in!

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Middle of the night

Its 11:15, pretty late... but I have been up later, the other day is was 3 AM. The last couple of weeks have been hard. I haven't been able to sleep much because my stomach is tight and I get really hot because I need a pillow for my head and a body pillow for support. I get funny cramp feelings, and funny stomach indigestion feelings. I say funny because I really don't know how to describe them. I am due on Tuesday: May 4th. A lot of people are surprised that I haven't had the baby yet, but I am ok waiting. I could wait another couple months if I knew it would give me the outcome that I want, which is a natural birth. I am hoping and praying to avoid another c-section. I am starting to get anxious though, because of my family. We are all in limbo waiting. Homeschooling has been put on hold, Chris is between projects at work, we are all just waiting. I don't have a lot of energy so I haven't been able to do much school with the kids. Chris doesn't want to start anything new at work because he'll be taking time off once the baby comes to help me recover. So we are just so much in limbo, I don't mind waiting if it were just me being effected, but its hard to see the people I love being effected--especially the kids. They do so much better when we have structured school going on. I know once the baby is born it won't be too long and we'll be back in the swing of things. And the beauty about homeschooling is that it can work around my schedule. After the baby comes and I recover--then its back to school! But it all hinges on the baby! The midwife reminded us today that its on the Lord's time and the Lord is never late! She is so right, the Lord is never late. So we all just need to have patience. But again, its the hardest for me to see the kids, they don't understand like Chris and I do.

The good news is that I feel really good about our future homeschooling once the baby comes and we begin getting back to normal. I have spent a lot of time trying to find my niche with schooling and what feels right, makes sense and fits my lifestyle. I have been given amazing inspiration that I know must come from the Holy Spirit because I feel excited, and peaceful. I can see the road ahead and its looks great! The idea that I got may sound really simple, but like I said its perfect for me. The idea is a step by step process, taking a step forward or adding a step when I can and taking a step back or taking a step out when I need to. In my case there are 5 steps suited to the many different areas that I want to teach my children. Here is a rundown of each step:

1. Morning routine: pray, dress, clean room, read scriptures and so on...
2. Meals: meal prep (prep something for a future meal, like make bread or grind flour), meals and kitchen clean up so on...
3. Spanish and Preschool: teaching all the children, but focusing on the younger, preschool level
4. School: focusing on the older children, younger children can participate or go and play
5. Chores and free time: do what I call a "clean sweep" going room by room and tidying up as needed, no deep cleaning just picking things up, then free time where the kids can do what they want and I can do what I want... hopefully :-)

What step we are on may become an indication of how we are doing. Right now we are working mainly on step 1, so you could say that our house right now is functioning on a level 1, considering there are 5 levels... so yeah, we are pretty much in survival mode, just focusing on enduring to the end. I don't have the energy to be making a lot from scratch so the meal prep of step 2 isn't geting done, although Chris and Sam helped me can pinto beans over the weekend. And the other steps are on hold for now, I haven't been getting really good sleep so especially for the last week I have been mostly laying around during the day catching up on my lack of sleep. The kids for the most part have been eating a lot of peanut butter and jelly, apples and bananas--not a terrible diet, it could be worse, they don't complain. And 2 days last week they spent watching Charlie Brown cartoons that I downloaded off of youtube. I have been trying to walk as much as I can so that I don't get too stiff. I can keep waiting, but I sure wouldn't mind at all going into labor!

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Our Favorite Questions

So we have realized over the last few years that according to today's standards we have a "large" family. We consider this odd since not that long ago an average family would be 4 or 5 and a large would be much larger (Jen has a grandfather who had 14 kids). It has been an interesting adventure and we are now eagerly expecting our next bundle of joy (Jen says he is waiting for May since all the kids have been born early in the month). We have heard or been asked some interesting questions (some humorous) as we have gone on family excursions to places like the grocery store or shopping. My favorite is when people hold up their finger and count, as if they can't believe their eyes or can't count to 4 without assistance. Here are some of our favorite quotes and questions are (in no particular order):

1. They all have the same Daddy? or Are they all yours?

2. Is the next one a girl or are you going to keep trying for a girl.

3. You're really lucky! (to have all boys - normally given by people from certain cultures where Males are really important)

4. Are any of them twins? (even though they all differ by stature and appearance)

5. "Oh my Gosh!" (given by a lady who saw Jen walk into the store with the kids and said it very loudly)

6. You have to teach me what your doing (normally given to Chris by another father with all girls)

7. You know what causes that don't you? (normally given to Chris by co-workers - he normally tells them that it has something to do with the water right?)

8. You must be Catholic, Jewish, or Mormon (as if they are the old people who have large families in the world anymore)

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Peter, Sam, Joe, and Will at the Beckman House

We went to the Beckman's house. They like Star Wars, Clone Wars, and Transformers like we do. We had dinner and S'mores. Then we played. They have lightsabers and they have guns and swords too. They also have helmets and one suit of armor that you can wear. Soon I'll be in Cub Scouts with the Beckmans. Matthew Beckman's mom and dad are the scout leaders. When I get older I will be in Boy Scouts with my Dad. One time when Dad took me and my brother to scouts with him, at the end we had snacks and then we went home. It was a fun time.

I have 5 teeth missing.

After we go to Ms. Christine's house (when the baby is being born) we might go to the Beckman's after. That is if Ms. Christine is busy. I like Matthew (Beckman) and his brother Sam (Beckman). Zachary had his own room. Matthew and Sam have Legos and other toys in their room. They have 3 Lego Jedi's (Yoda,Obi One, and Luke Skywalker).

Dad's going to be home a week or two when the baby is born. Mom is going to have the baby at home. We have 5 games on the computer. The Lego Indiana Jones is too hard but we can play all the other games. If we practice we'll get better and be able to play Lego Indiana Jones. I have a skateboard in the garage. If I keep riding my small one, Mom will get me a big skateboard. I love my friends at the Beckmans.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Diet? Nutrition? Naw, just go eat a bowl of ice cream!

Nutrition drives me crazy. There are enough diets and people telling you contracting information to make your head spin. I read somewhere that girls between the ages of 9 and 12 feel better about themselves when they are on a diet. So it starts that young? Is nutrition and diet just a female thing? I have to say I have not seen many males in the field. I believe that there is one God and one true religion. Why can't there be one true diet? Didn't God make all of our bodies the same?

I seem to go through a cycle. I start looking into new recipes, then I take a step back and consider if these new recipes are good for us to eat. That usually brings me to the library or computer to figure out what is really good for us to eat. Then by the time I look at enough nutrition books and websites, my eyes glaze over and my head hurts. I end up wanting to throw the books in a violent show of protest, then go and have a large bowl of ice cream covered in chocolate. What is a mom trying to raise healthy boys to do?

Maybe its good that I don't have girls, Peter is nearly 8, and he doesn't care about what he wears or if he is on a diet. I just make sure he isn't wearing his brothers clothes. He has a vague idea of matching, only because jeans go with anything. What would I do if I had a little girl get all worked about stuff I don't know about? I must be better suited to boys, because I am about to have #5!

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Stop Kissing the Avocados!

Yesterday I took the kids shopping and during our trip to the produce section, I had to tell Sam to stop kissing the avocados, it sounded funny saying that. I am sure I have said a lot of funny things since becoming a parent. I am trying to do better at keeping a journal of our life and the kids have been journaling too. Peter's handwriting has gradually been improving since he starting keeping a journal. He dictates to me what he wants to say and I type it out for him. Then I write some of it out for him to copy and the whole thing get put in his journal notebook for him to read later. It will be a sweet keepsake collection of memories for him later in his life. Sam and Joe are also beginning to keep a journal too. Its been fun hearing them relate our life through their eyes.

Peter's journal:
March 29, 2010
What is your favorite type of animal? My favorite type of animal is a dinosaur. What is your favorite dinosaur? My favorite dinosaur is stegosaurs. What does the stegosaurs have on its body? It has bony plates and it has things on its tail that is why I love this dinosaur. What is your favorite Jedi? My favorite Jedi is Asoka and Obi-wan and Luke Skywalker. What is your favorite Sith? My favorite Sith is Count Dooku in Clone Wars. What is your favorite Clone? My favorite Clone is Captain Rex. What type of body droid do you like? My favorite type of body droid that has a color on it is a blue body droid that is a battle droid. What is your favorite movie? My favorite movie is “Where the Wild Things Are” and some of Star Wars but not just one movie and that is number 2 Star Wars. And I like Clone Wars. I love watching those things. Here when it is the second week of April my brother will be having his birthday party. He will turn four years old. His name is Joe. Soon my other brother will have his birthday on June 3rd. And then it will be my birthday and I will turn eight. And my other brother is named Sam. And my name is Peter. My baby brother had his birthday on the first day of February. And my dad was the second one to have his birthday, but it was a different week. My mom, I don’t remember when her birthday is, but I just know she was on February. My birthday is October 3rd and I love my family. Sam will be in PE and I will be in PE in September. We have a Clone War Lego game and a Star War Lego game on the computer. The Clone War game that was a Lego one we found it in a Lego magazine and it is on the internet. My dad said one of these months he will buy a Lego Indiana Jones computer game.
Yesterday we read about Jesus coming to his apostles and he did the sacrament with them. We are in the book of John, the last book that Jesus is in. After John, Jesus goes up to heaven and then it’s just the apostles in it. In church I learned about when Jesus died and the resurrection. We had to take home a paper that had when Jesus died and when he was resurrected. We had to take home a general conference coloring book. Jesus died on a cross and Jesus was in a tomb then the stone got rolled away and Jesus was risen. I know that Jesus really died and was resurrected in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
Yesterday we went to the toy room and there my mom and my dad built stuff out of Legos. Dad built two things. The first one was a house. The last one was a castle. Mom built one thing and that was a house with stairs. She said it was the corporate offices for the Jedi Knights. Mom is silly. My brothers and I (except Will) played with the Lego guys. Our creations that are Legos are saved on the shelf in the closet. Will helped Mom while we were doing this. Saturday Dad built a thing where the Jedi can fight the Sith on the top of the wall they can fight the Sith. The Jedi can jump up there and destroy the bad guys.
I love to make stories. This week I am going to try to do school every day so I can have free time and make a book called “Where the Wild Things Are”. I am going to make a page each time I have free time. My brother’s birthday that is the three year old is going to turn four on Friday. And we are not going to have his party yet. Next week is his party. My brother where we are going to do his birthday is the beach. Joe wants Mom and Dad to make a sand castle for his birthday at the beach. Today we are going to pick up candy for Easter. We are going to get candy for Easter because on Friday we are celebrating Easter after the beach. Sunday is really Easter but we don’t hide eggs on Sunday. But Sunday is General Conference. After the baby comes I am going to start piano again. There is this book that is called Keyboard Gymnastics and I am in book number one called Brillante.

Sam's Journal:
March 30, 2010
My favorite animal is turtles, fish, and frogs. I like fish because they have scales and they are very colorful. When we go to Wal-Mart we see the fishies in the tanks. They are in tanks so they can’t jump out. I like turtles because they are reptiles and the frog is an amphibian. I like learning about frogs, turtles and fish in homeschool. I like them because they swim and my favorite dinosaur is triceratops. I like triceratops because he has three horns on his head. In this book that has triceratops says that triceratops could maybe scare away t-rex with his horns.
Baby Charlie is coming in May. We sing Frosty the Snowman to him every night. I am excited for him to come. I am going to try to hold baby Charlie. Mom is going to have the baby at home so I can see the baby quickly after he is born instead of having to wait and go to the hospital. I hope we can do the home birth.
On Sunday I got taught about Easter. Easter is reminding me about when Jesus died and was resurrected. I know that Jesus Christ is resurrected and He lives today. After church we had lunch and when it was night we had dinner. After dinner we had pecan pie. Then we went up to the toy room and we built Lego City. Peter and Joe and Will played with Lego guys. I helped Dad built Lego City. Joe and Will helped Mom build Lego City too.
Yesterday we went for shopping jelly beans and M&Ms. We bought bubbles and crayons. We had Family Home Evening. For Show and Tell, I showed my small Lego Star War Rebel. The lesson was about talking nice to each other. We should use please and thank you and not yell. For the activity we played small Legos. We built more Lego City. Dad built a castle and a house. Mom built a little house too. All my Lego guys were hanging off of the castle and my bounty hunter droids had a chain to their guns and they were hanging onto tower on the castle that was a triangle.
Today I got up early. I said my prayers. I brushed my teeth. For exercise we went up and down the stairs and then did summer salts. I cleaned my room. We read scriptures and now I am doing my journal.
On Thursday we are doing Art Club. They are making eggs. We are going to glue papers on eggs called decopage. I hope it will be really fun.
We are going to the beach on Friday. I am going to look for sea shells. We are going to make a sand castle. I am going to go in the water.
On Saturday and Sunday is General Conference. During General Conference we are going to color a General Conference coloring book. Mom bought us new crayons for General Conference.

Joe's Journal:
On Friday is my birthday I will be 4 years old! We are going to the beach on Friday. We are going to make a sand castle. Yesterday we played small Legos.

Will's Journal:
I am learning to talk and today I said "lizard", yesterday I said "bebe". My favorite song is Wheels on the Bus when you sing about the babies. I love my eyes and like to point them out.

Charlie's Journal:
I am moving a lot, in Mom's tummy. When she sits down and my brothers are watching they can see me move around. They sing to me, I am due to be born in May. The midwife says there is a little more water in here than usual, so maybe that is why I have a little more swimming room.

Mom's Journal:
I am getting excited for the coming birth of baby Charlie. I am nearly 8 months pregnant and its been gradually more and more uncomfortable. The kids and I are working hard establishing solid routines and cleaning/organizing the house to help with the transition from 4 to 5. I started doing phases. Phase 1 is our morning routine and the last phase 5 is adding art and science to our homeschool routine. This way we will work on one phase at a time, and when the baby comes if we have to start all over, at least we can pick up the pieces easier rather than having to reinvent the wheel. I am confident that changes will have to be made as an infant joins the ranks, but that I am better than ever at maintaining order. I am getting rid of any junk in my way to victory over clutter and mess. I feel like I keep improving on my housekeeping abilities as I have more children. Its a challenge, but a challenge that is improving me in valuable ways. Being a mom is the most rewarding learning experience ever. I know that by the time my babies are ready to leave home we will have all grown closer together, closer to God, and will have become better people. I can feel myself stretching and growing becoming a better wife, mother and woman. I love my life. I love my children. And as I get asked every time I take the children shopping, "Yes these are all my children, they don't cost as much as you think, I wouldn't have it any other way! I love them so much!" What better joy than to have a houseful of children and raise them to be good Christian followers of Jesus Christ, honest, upright, Godly members of society, ready and willing to stand for truth and right. I KNOW this is what God my Father in Heaven wants me to do with the life He gave me. I am so lucky to have a husband who believes the same and supports me in every way. We make such a great team!